may 15, 2010 - amelia's arrival

i was talking to my mom the other day about my blog and she asked me to write about amelia's birth story. i told her i really didnt want to, because i hardly remembered it.  ....and the few memories i do have of the long, painful, no fun proccess arent exactly things you care to remember. i can come up with a little something, but i would like for people to know it was really hard for me and i wont sound as cheery as you think i should.


first of all, WOW! look at my belly!!!! sheesh. anyways, at about 8 am on may 14, 2010, i woke up to what i thought was me wetting the bed! after taking a second to wake up, i realized what was going on and my water had burst! i ran into the living room to tell everyone (momma, daddy, bo, michel, larsen), and in about 15 minutes we were in the car headed to the hospital. the dreadful, dreadful hospital that i spent the next 2 weeks of my life in. we arrived and got me situated in a room. the dreadful, dreadful room that i spent the next 28 hours laboring in.



it was so awesome to have my family and friends with me every step of the way. seriously..every step. you know how most hospitals allow 2 people in the room when the actual "birthin'" is going on? nope not my hospital. try 9 folks. youre probably thinking im nuts for allowing that, but i tell ya 25 hours, several bags of the pit drip and 2 epidurals later, i did not know or care what was going on in the room around me. if i had been able to collect my thoughts, i would have demanded a c-section after uhh 8-10 hrs? DEMANDED.

we were really excited that amelia and uncle bo were going to share the same birthday. ends up, thats not how it was gonna go down. we carried on into the next day, which i was completely unaware of at the time. i never imagined it wouldve taken that long to have a baby!! after 25 hours of laboring, some sweet sweet angel doctor said i could start pushing! after about 2.5 hours of pushing and the doctor yelling "we can see her head", they decided something needed to be done to bring amelia into this world. the dr gave us the options of forceps, the suction thingy (which was totally not an option for me) or a c-section. if i could've felt my legs i would've probably kicked her for FINALLY suggesting a c-section. we really didnt want to use any tools to grab amelia out of there, but we decided on the forceps. and then at 12:25 pm, amelia grace peeples entered our world and made it so much sweeter. she was 8 lbs 7 oz and 19 inches long.

i was so happy and relieved that she was finally with us! but i didnt feel like i felt like i should have been feeling (if that makes sense). they immediately took amelia away, because of fluids in her lungs and a broken collar bone. it was tough not having your baby handed over to you like you've always seen it happen in movies and tlc shows. i think after that is when i started going downhill. i was nauseous, miserable, sad and numb. i didnt feel like a mom. i actually didnt feel like a mom for TOO long. they finally brought amelia in to see me and adam a few hours later. i was scared to hold her, because of how bad i was feeling and because of her broken collar bone. we really didnt get off to a good bonding start and i really hated that.

over the next couple of days, on top of me not feeling good (you'll find out why later), i had to see amelia go through so much in her first few days of life.

her poor head boo-boo's from the forceps

her itty-bitty hands and feet getting stuck with needles several times a day

all the wires and monitors she was hooked up to..
and worst of all, having to keep her under a lamp with little "sunglasses" (that she absolutely hated) covering her eyes for 24 hrs. im glad there are no pictures to remind me of this sad, pitiful time. we stayed in the hospital for 5 days to make sure her color was good, she got her shots and did not develop pneumonia.

over the course of the next 5 days, many people working with the hospital stopped by. several women that i felt were PUSHING breastfeeding on me. amelia and i were not doing well with the whole breastfeeding thing, mostly because of the time we spent apart in the first few days due to complications. also, amelias broken collarbone scared me to death and i didnt want to force her to do anything that might discomfort her. one super nice lady came by to ask me how i was feeling and asked me how amelia was doing. she started to ask me about how being a mommy was and my feelings on everything that had happened. i started telling her how i felt about not feeling like i should be feeling (sorry again if this doesnt make sense to you). she explained to me how normal it was, especially considering all we were dealing with right after the birth. she promised that as soon as amelia and i both were feeling better my feelings would change.

the last 2-3 days in the hospital, i began experiencing super high fevers and severe shaking. the first time it happened adam had gone home, and it was only me and the baby in the room. luckily i had just put her back in her bassinet, and had laid down so i could reach the nurse button. the nurses and doctors told me that my body was just going through withdrawals from all of the meds i was on during my labor. they dismissed it and sent me on my way as soon as amelia was approved to go home. by the way, dont get me started on this hospital and the staff there....

the next afternoon we were scheduled to come back for amelias 1 week check-up. that next morning i had another fever/shakes episode at home. when we went back for amelias appointment, adam said he would stay with amelia and i walked up stairs to the ob-gyn to get checked out.again i was sent home with no answers. later that day, adam and i rushed back to the hospital when my fever spiked WAY high. finally they ran some tests (very painful tests) and figured out that i had two infections, ecoli and endometritis (thanks to being in labor for more than 24 hrs after my water breaking). i was admitted back into the hospital for the next couple of days. back in the dreadful, dreadful hospital away from my sweet amelia. the moment they told me i would have to stay in the hospital (and away from amelia) is when i think i first started feeling like a mom. i was so miserably sad. i cried and cried, and the nurses kept asking me where my pain was and all i could say was that i was so sad. there was no medicine to help me feel better at that point. only being at home with my little munchkin could've made me feel better. luckily auntie m had come back to visit and could keep amelia for 2 days until my mom could get there.

anyways, not gonna go on about the next couple of days filled with stupid medicines, stupid IV's, stupid hospital food, and stupid hospital beds. i actually only wrote about me going back into the hospital to tell you about when i started to feel happy again, and started to feel a bond between amelia, and started to feel like adam and i were parents to the cutest and sweetest child ever born. when my mom or michel would bring her up to the hospital to visit me, i would soak up every second. as soon as they left the hospital, before they could have even left the parking lot, my heart would sink and i would count down the hours until she was coming back to see me again. these were the feelings i had been searching for since the moment she was born. i finally felt like i was a part of  MY family of 3 i had been imagining for so long.




p.s. - i couldnt have done any of it without my awesome husband. i hardly remember much about my labor, but i  do know adam was by my side the whole time. he cheered me on and encouraged me when i felt like giving up during the 3 hr pushing period. he stayed with me in the hospital every night, in what looked like the most uncomfortable chair/bed ever. he also ordered me pizza and brought me carrabas (one of our faves) in the last 4 days we spent at the hospital. he made sure i was taken care of and as comfortable as possible during those 12 total days in the hospital. i couldnt have asked for better support or love during this difficult/exciting/scary time.


i know that i most likely lost several peoples interest after the 2nd paragraph, so thanks to those who cared enough to finish the story. and it actually felt pretty good to write it all down and remember the good and the bad. thanks momma for encouraging me to blog this.



a few more pics from amelias big arrival!

her first visitors once we were settled into the mommy/baby unit

her head full of hair that is out of control these days

pure

sweetness

the first bottle i gave her

one smitten daddy

thanks again for letting me share with you all!