Letters to Amelia: Kindergarten

Amelia,

I just dropped you off for your last day of your first week of Kindergarten. And can I just be the first to say-- TGIF!!!!! Kindergarten has been a tough transition for us. I know we will adjust, but right now I hate seeing you miserably tired and uninterested in school. There are a few things I've learned this week:

I worry about you getting lost in the halls.
I worry about you dropping your lunch tray.
I worry about hard lessons that you will learn.
I worry about mean words that will probably be spoken to you.
I miss 9:00 am start time.
I miss talking to your teacher at drop off/pick up everyday.
I miss walking you to class, and seeing you with your friends.
I miss having coffee by myself before I wake you up for school.
I miss riding in my car (we are walkers this year, and I could write a whole separate post about that).
I miss you.

This year (and every year after) I pray for you to follow your heart, not your friends. I pray that you be the special friend to somebody who might need you to be. You have a heart of gold and a sweet spirit, and I hope that they are protected in this new school setting. I hope that you'll always come home to me with your joys and sorrows, because I will always be ready to listen. I love you, you big kid.

All my love,
Your Momma

5th Anniversary

Happy 5th Anniversary to my favorite guy! Here are 5 things (one for each year of our marriage) I hope you always remember.

I appreciate you. In all of our good times and hard trials, I have never doubted your ability to provide and DO for our family.

I love you for being a great dad to the girls. They are lucky to have you!

I thank you for all that you do for me. You cook, clean, change diapers and so many other things I know for sure a lot of men don't do for their wives. Thank you for spoiling me.

You're always there for me. You offer a strong shoulder for my weary, weepy head when I need you most. You offer advice when I need it, and remind me to stick up for myself. You've seen me at my worst, smelled my morning breath, talked me off of ledges and you still make me feel loved everyday!

I am your biggest fan. I support you in all you do. I hope I show you enough how proud I am of the man you've become. You're doing great things, and I am so glad I get to do them with you.

loved you then

love you still

love you now

and i always will

Happy Birthday, Stella Mae!

The days before my girls birthdays have always brought on so many emotions.

Happiness - "Another year older! Are they freaking driving yet?"

Sadness - "Where did my baby go?"

Apprehensive - "What am I up against this next year?"

Anger - "I've yelled too much, cuddled too little."

Cheerful - "I love this new stage we are headed towards."

As each year passes I suppose it gets easier (my mom just asked me on the phone today how old I turned on my birthday yesterday). Maybe you let go a little more, because you are well seasoned in this thing we call motherhood. Maybe you get old and your memory fails you (kidding, momma). I don't know. All I know is tonight I laid with Stella before bed, and sang her every little lullaby I know. I said all of the silly things that I knew would make her laugh. I cherished my last night as a mom of a one year old.

She will wake up tomorrow, and we will make a huge deal out of something she still doesn't understand. We will make waffles, and she will eat on our red "You Are Special Today" plate. We will sing happy birthday, and she will blow out candles. I will kiss her approximately 730 times, one for each day she's been alive. She will rule the roost tomorrow. Oh wait, that's everyday. I can't wait to celebrate her precious, little life tomorrow and throughout the weekend!

Wishing you the happiest birthday, Stella Mae!

I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be. xoxo

Motherhood

Motherhood.

That's my journey in life right now. As so many mothers have said before me, it is the hardest yet most rewarding JOB. A never-ending job. Sometimes I don't think I was cut out for this job. In fact, I didn't really ask for it. It just happened to me, and I happily accepted the challenge. I try to be the best mom for the girls, but I find that I seriously lack in some areas. Like patience. WHERE CAN I BUY THIS STUFF? It must have a pretty hefty price tag. Or like calmly using discipline to mold your children into wonderful little people. Maybe that comes with patience. Sometimes I go to bed feeling like maybe I yelled too much today, I will try better tomorrow. And the next day, I wake up feeling confident about the day, until two hours in Amelia's laying on the floor losing her little mind over clothes. CLOTHES. I'm about ready to ship her off to a nudist colony.

Your whole life changes when you become mom. Your marriage, friendships, hygiene, priorities, memory function. Oh and let's not forget about your precious, young, THIN, unmarked body. It all changes.

It gets pretty lonely, because you just can't meet your social needs from conversations with toddlers. Thank goodness its 2014 and I have all of my friends just a iMessage away. A "Hey guys, I'm losing my ever loving mind over here" text sparks a conversation where my friends pull me out of my funk. They laugh because I guess to an outsider it's funny, and tell me how much they love my kids. They tell me how happy them make them. And then just like that I feel better again. I feel picked up by my friends. I feel more connected. More power to those moms that survived motherhood before iPhones. My hat's off to ya.

And motherhood is scary. DEAR GOD, is it scary. You have these babies and your heart now lives outside of your body. You send them out into this big, scary world. Things happen before you are ready for them. There is a little girl in Amelia's class, and almost daily the two of them beg her mom and I to let them have a spend the night party. And we just nervously laugh and say things like "one day", but one day that mom is going to give in. And I'll jokingly say something like, "Ok, but only if I can come and sleep on the floor beside her!", but I will probably mean it. They grow up and make friends, and then lose friends. They get their feelings hurt, and they hurt feelings. They are exposed to good crowds, and bad crowds. What if they, despite your best efforts, end up with the wrong crowd? And I'm told that you can't put them in a bubble to protect them from all the evil things we all see everyday on the news and social media. You just never stop worrying. This is when I feel like a good mom. Crazy, but good.

This is stuff that is always on my mind, because it is always happening. I'm having a particularly hard time with Amelia right now. Four year olds are smart, stubborn, inquisitive, hilarious, sassy, exhausting, mischievous, chatty and IN YOUR FACE. I love reading articles and blogs about other mom's thoughts/feelings on motherhood. It helps with those pangs of loneliness to know other moms are going through it too. It's funny, as much as I can say about how I want to protect them forever, I can say just as much about how ready I am for them to grow up a little and make life a little more convenient and easier for all of us. But that's for another day...

Letters to Amelia & Stella

Amelia,

Today you started Pre-K!!  You've gone to "preschool" for a few years now, so the idea of the first day of school was not new to you. You were excited, and ready to meet new friends. You are our social butterfly. You live for school time and playdates. When we go to the grocery store, you shout to the first person you see, "WHAT'S YOUR NAME??". I tell you that you don't have to ask every person you see what their name is, and you ask me things like how else do you make friends? And if we don't ask their name then they wont ask ours. You call out to strangers in the produce section to tell them, "Hey, you look beautiful today!" I have no worries about you making friends in school. I don't think you even turned to look back at us when your teacher opened up the door. I really love school for much needed ME time, but also because I know how much you love going.

I can't wait to see how much you grow this year! You're smart, kind, hilarious and beautiful. Basically just a 3 ft tall version of your momma. You make me crazy most of the time, but also so happy and proud. I love you to the moon and back!

* I took you to Target to pick out your first day of school outfit. I knew it would be a dress. IT HAS TO BE A DRESS. You found this "pink, beautiful" dress, and begged we go to the "try-on" room before we bought it. You keep me laughing.

Love,
Your Momma


Stella,

Today was your first day at Mother's Day Out. You did so wonderful on your first day! Which is so very surprising since you can't be more than 5 feet away from me at all times. You were unsure of  "school" as Amelia and I tried to pump you up for it. We told you about going to play with friends, and you knew that meant one thing: Mom is leaving. Daddy went with us to drop you and Amelia off, and thankfully the drop off went smoothly. I had big plans for my first morning alone, but after an hour and a half, I just wanted to drive back to the school and watch you through the door to your room. It's funny because no matter how much I feel I need a break from motherhood, it is still like taking your heart out of your chest and dropping it off with new people who may or may not care for it like I do. But I pushed through, because TJMaxx was calling. And you can't ignore TJMaxx when it calls you. {You'll understand this in 20 years.} A few hours later I picked you and Amelia up, and  you ran towards me like you hadn't seen me in days. You turned back to your teacher and classroom and said, "BYE FRIENDS!" You had a happy report from your teachers. I think it is safe to say we both enjoyed our morning apart at least a little bit. I'm already looking forward to next Monday, so hopefully you are too. I love you a bushel and a peck.

Love,
Your Momma

four

Amelia,

1,460 days ago you came into our lives. We were scared, we were excited, we were happier than I could ever put into words. It is so amazing how much you've grown in 4 years. You're smart as a whip - you can say the Pledge of Allegiance for crying out loud!! WHO KNEW! You're also funny and sweet. You're inquisitive and fun, and I love seeing the world through your eyes.

I told you a few days ago while we were driving that I was so sad you were growing up, and you said "Why? Soon I will be able to sit up there with you!"  I cannot wait. We are already buddies. I hope you always want to ride around in the car and hang out with me, but for now I am enjoying hearing you sing Frozen songs in the back seat and watching you reach over to comfort your sister in the car seat next to you. Sometimes I can't wait for you to grow up, and other times I wish you could be little forever.

At age 4 you are: really into Scooby-Doo, loving gymnastics, giggling over potty talk {I could live without this..}, obsessed with candy,  sneaking in and sleeping on the floor beside me at night, all about your family, enjoying being helpful with things around the house, begging for a trip to Disney World {I got you covered}, getting ready for Pre-K, testing your limits {I could live without this too..} and being a good, big sister.

I wouldn't trade being your mom for anything. I am so happy I get to be the one to celebrate these birthdays and milestones with you. Love you to the moon and back, stinker!

Love,
Your Momma


I'm the worst about keeping up a blog. I wish I felt like I had the time or that it was important enough to make the time for, but right now it falls pretty low on my list of things to do when I have a few moments to myself. I'm not going to promise when I will be back on here again, because who knows!! It could be 6 more months for Stella's birthday post. I'll see ya when I see ya!

Happy Anniversary, Adam!

To my Mister,

It's been 4 years since we married.
That's 1460 days.
That's {almost} 30 dog years.

Sometimes it feels like 30 years together, and sometimes it feels like I'm still learning so much about you. We've had two little people together. My two favorite little people. Thank you for that! I've had the privilege of watching you become daddy. I've had the privilege of watching you start up and build {WAY} up a great business in just one year. I promise to keep encouraging you. And even if it's hard {like when we both feel like angry zombies, because our girls don't sleep. ever.}, I promise to keep loving you!

Like Nick & Jess love.

                                                                                                                                                                   You're my sweetheart.

xoxo,
Cadence

Traditions

One of my favorite parts of the holiday season is hearing about, and living out traditions. We've had so many traditions new and old throughout my life, and I've loved all of them. I am so sad that some of them have ended, like Christmas Eve morning breakfast with some of our favorite family friends that we left behind in GA. We will always think of them and wish we could hug their necks every Christmas Eve morning. We also did a Christmas with my "Aunt" Wanda's family for many years and made memories I will never forget. And then the memories of Christmas caroling with family and friends - so. much. fun.

"The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear!"- Buddy the Elf

Another favorite memory of tradition was one of my mother in laws. After Thanksgiving every year she would light huge beautiful wreaths that hung on her house. The "wreath lighting" was a time when all of the people that meant the most to her came over for food, drinks and holiday cheer. She once told me she loved it more than Christmas itself. Unfortunately, I only made it to two of these special lightings, but if we have a big enough house one day I would love to carry on her tradition!

Now that we have kids we are wanting to start our own traditions. It is hard, because we have to give up old traditions to do so. Last year was the first year we did not spend the night with my Memommy on Christmas Eve and wake up there to find Santa's gifts. As sad I was to miss that, we had a wonderful Christmas morning waking up at home. I suspect over the next few years we will take on more traditions as the girls start understanding things better. My friend, Katie, told me about a fun tradition her mom started with her on St. Nick Day! I believe it is a German Holiday, but I could be wrong. Kids hang their stocking or put a boot outside their door, and if they've been good St. Nick fills it with candy and goodies. It's just a fun way to get your kids in the spirit, and remind them that they better be good, for goodness sake!

We've started the Elf on the Shelf tradition with our two elves, Elfis & Rudy, and it has been so much fun this year! My sister and I have talked about making cookies for Santa, and a birthday cake for Jesus on Christmas Eve this year! No matter what we do I know it will be special because we will all be together (we are so excited Gi got out of her trip)!!

I have been reading about traditions on blogs this year and searching Pinterest for fun traditions! I love to hear about traditions that are dear to people's hearts!

Can it be Christmas already?!?!

xoxo,
Cadence

Birthday post/Letter to Stella

One year ago from this very hour, I was sitting in our hospital room in awe of the sweetness of our new baby girl. We were facing a lot of hard decisions and sadness with Adam's mom being very sick. It was hard to celebrate such a happy time with what we knew was coming in the next few days. Adam was there for both Stella and I in what had to be one of the hardest times of his life. He spent those 3 days in the hospital with us, and the morning after we returned home, he left to be with his mom. Stella's first few weeks here were very sad/hard, but she brought us light that only an innocent little baby can bring. I like to think of her as our little angel that helped us through a tough time. A year later, she is still that same light and that same joy.

Dear Stella,

Happy birthday, sweet girl! These past 365 days have truly been my favorite. You have completed our family, and I am overjoyed that I get to watch you and Amelia begin an everlasting friendship. I want to list a few of my favorite things about you, and I am only limiting myself to naming a few because I could go on and on.

Your determination.
The way you lay your head on my shoulder when you are being shy.
The way you follow Amelia and Poppy around the house squealing with excitement to fit in with the big girls.
When you get your passy and blankie and fall into my arms like its the only place you can find comfort.
Your teeth that are growing in at hilariously different times.
Your sassy little attitude. {Amelia will say "well hello there, Miss Priss."}
The way you jump up and run towards the door when you know it's your dad's keys unlocking the door.

Last night I laid in my bed almost in tears over the fact that my last baby was turning ONE in less than 12 hours! It was a hard pill to swallow. Luckily, you've reminded me that this is my favorite age, and I am going to soak up every minute of it. I am excited to watch you grow in this second year of life. I am excited to teach you and be your safe place as you explore a little more in this big world. 

Jack Johnson said it best in his song "My Little Girl" -

"You've gone and stole my heart and made it your own
You stole my heart and made it your own"

I love you more than I could ever put into words.

Love,
Your Momma

Letters to Amelia and Stella

Amelia,

10 things I love about you right now are:

1} Your big sweet smile.
2} Hearing about things you learn in school. Like spelling your name and knowing your left and right hand.
3} Seeing your imagination grow in your playtime.
4} Your independence.
5} Your big personality - though it does get you in trouble at times.
6} The way you love your friends at school.
7} The way you aggravate your dad with your "Roll Tide" cheers.
8} The way you say "hilarious".
9} Your big heart for animals.
10} The way you kiss my nose every night.

Stay awesome, kiddo!!

Love,
Your Momma


Stella,

10 things I love about you right now are:

1} Your big goofy grin.
2} Your love for food.
3} The way you want to be right up under your sister at all times.
4} The way you walk like a drunk.
5} Your big giggles when I chase you on the floor.
6} Your love for your dad.
7} Your scrunch face
8} The way you snuggle up with your pacifier and blanket, just like Amelia used to.
9} The way you look over your shoulder and smile when you know you are doing wrong.
10} The sweet curls on the back of your head!

I have been super emotional about your first birthday coming up. I get all teary thinking about what you will be like at Amelia's age, and then what Amelia will be like when you are her age! It's true what they say, you guys are growing in the blink of an eye.

Love,
Your Momma